Every time a healer, coach, or intuitive person tells me, “Based on your energy, something BIG is about to happen in you life,” I get really excited.

I imagine I’m going to meet the guy of my dreams, or Angelina Jolie is going to call me to take pictures of her family, or maybe I’ll save a puppy who fell down a gutter and be on the news!

But instead, every single time someone says “something big is about to happen,” what ends up happening is some sort of massive challenge, followed by an emotional breakdown where I lose my shit.  Was that the big thing?  Geez.  Thanks.

I hate it until I remember that:

It’s true.  Following the struggle has always been something positively life changing.

When you look back, you see how everything that has happened worked out perfectly to open the necessary doors for you.  The bigger the struggle, the bigger the opportunity to follow.

If you are going through a sucky time, welcome it with open arms, and get ready for something big. 

Two things I do when I get home after a long trip:  1. See my dog.  2. Eat a bowl of Pho.

That’s what I did yesterday when I arrived back in LA after weeks of traveling.  My passport is filled with 4 more stamps and I’m feeling extremely grateful.  I have the ability to see the world while at the same time, coming back to a loving home.

I look at my vision board sometimes and laugh, watching everything fall into place.  I remember years ago gluing on the different travel destinations, the work goals, the love goals.

Things didn’t happen by chance.  Anything is possible.  I’m just an ordinary person who created the life I wanted.  How empowering it is to know that you can do and have ANYTHING as long as you’re willing to focus and work for it.

It’s there for you.  Go get it!

Day four of my trip to Vietnam and I’ve been eating Pho, Bun Bo Hue, and drinking coconuts galore.  Vietnamese food is my FAVORITE cuisine of all time but I’ll admit – what I’m really craving right now is a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks.

As much as I want to be this worldly person, I AM the person who will visit a Starbucks in another country.  It isn’t even all that good.  I’ve been to many coffee houses that taste way better, so why do I want Starbucks?  I’ll tell you why.

1.) It’s convenient.  2.) I know what I’m going to get.

Convenience and consistency are two things that every business owner should think about.  Some things you can consider for your business:

Convenience:

How quick is it for someone to know what I’m about?  Is it easy for people to access/contact me?  Is my company name easy to remember?  Easy to spell?   Is my website easy to navigate?

Consistency:

As a photographer, do my photos have a distinct style?  Are my photos edited consistently?  If my style is “vibrant” and “energized”, is that consistent across ALL my branding (from my website colors to the way my photos look to the way I pick up the phone)?

When I get back to the states (or maybe during the 17-hour plane ride home), I am going to reevaluate convenience and consistency as they apply to my own business.

Starbucks doesn’t exist in the countryside of Vietnam, but I did find something else that hit the spot.  Only $7 for this thing!

P.S.  The first photo is at the Red Sand Dunes of Mui Ne.

P.P.S.  Yes, the $7 is in US Dollars.

I admire people who have the ability to ask really good questions.  Asking good questions is a VERY important people skill.  It shows how much you are able to engage with others.

One time I was talking to a girl I had just met.  Out of no where she asked, “Are you in love?.”  I paused.  It was a much better question than asking, “Are you married?” or “Are you seeing anyone?.”  Instead of a simple yes or no, her question caused me to think.

So what’s a good question?

One that causes people to want to engage.  Generic questions like, “How are you?” don’t really get a good conversation going.  Most of the time when people ask how I’m doing, I reply with a simple, “I’m good!.”  I know this, yet I continue to ask people the same.  It’s a reflex, just like saying “hi.”

Whenever I remember to, I like to practice asking good questions.  Some examples of questions I like:

“What’s your favorite part about your job?”

“What was the most profound moment of your trip?”

“What’s your favorite thing about your significant other?”

I also enjoy “How much…?” or “Would you rather?” questions.  These kind of questions are funny, make you think, and allow you to bond with the people you’re with.

“How much would someone have to pay you to jump into a non heated pool right now and then take a cab home?” (asked in freezing weather).

“Would you rather eat a handful of dust from the vacuum cleaner or a wad of hair?”

Think about what kind of questions you can randomly ask to get a good conversation going!

Bridesmaids dresses – To matchy match, or not to matchy match?

On one hand there’s the tradition of having bridesmaids look the same, from the dress to the shoes to the hair to the flowers.  In high school, my bestfriends and I would plan our outfits and match allllll the time.  Even now, if I show up to party and my girlfriend is coincidentally wearing something similar, I get a kick out of it.  It’s fun to be all matchy matchy.

At the same time, I’m quite the rebellious artistic type, and totally dig the concept of individuality.

What are your thoughts?  Do you prefer matchy-matchy or different looks for bridesmaids?

I watched the movie Celeste and Jesse Forever the other night.  It’s about a divorced couple who tries to remain best friends but realized that although they still love each other, they needed to let go.  It’s a comedy but I was crying like a baby.

I put my old car up for sale on Craigslist and officially sold it a few days ago.  It was hard because I LOVE my Mazda3, aka “Junior” (yes I name my cars).  He has been with me through so much.  Adopting my dog Sam.  Moving down to LA to start my photo career.  Happy times.  Sad times.  Adventurous times.

One of many road trips with the girls.

It didn’t really hit me until it came down to filling out the ‘Bill of Sale’ and handing over the keys.  I WAS SAD.  I literally stood there and watched the new owner drive it away.

Goodbye old buddy, enjoy your new home!  Kim will be Junior’s new owner. 

Letting go isn’t always fun or easy, but through the years I’ve learned that the faster you let go, the more beneficial it will be for you.  You will continue faster down the path that you are meant to be on, and GREATNESS is waiting for you.

My new car, “Ronin.” 

Have you noticed that people respond most to authenticity?

People don’t respond to people who present themselves as perfect because (excuse my bluntness) you know they’re full of poo poo.  No one is perfect and when you see imperfection in someone, that is when you truly feel you can trust them.

I met Zoe Bell recently.  She bombed her first audition with Quentin Tarantino to be Uma Thurman’s stunt double in “Kill Bill.”  Jumping off a trampoline to do a full twist front flip, she fell….again and again.  In later interviews, Quentin said he didn’t care if she could do the flip perfectly.  He chose her because every time she fell, she showed a mixture of laughter and frustration, got back up, and tried it again.  She was being…human.

Right after I snapped this, Zoe got a hold of my camera and tried to take a picture of her crotch!  Haha.  I love her.

Give up being perfect and you’ll soar in life.

Anyone who does business can tell you that the best place to network and make connections is not in formal settings.

It’s while you’re playing golf, or at the bar.  People don’t like making deals in formal settings because it’s too stuffy.  People aren’t comfortable in those situations.  The mindset that people have is too eager, or on the flip side, on the defense (i.e. “what does this person want from me?”).  It’s like speed dating.  It feels way too forced.

You know what question I hate?  “What do you do?.”  That is a horrible first question to ask someone.  Talk about something else first.  “Where did you get that necklace?“  “I checked out this new dog park yesterday.  It was awesome!  Do you have pets?“  “What did you have for breakfast this morning?“  There is more to people than what they do for work.  Humans like to talk about . . . human things.

Whenever I’m out to make a connection with someone, I take the business equation out of it.  I think to myself, “This is what I got.  What are you about?  Can we work something out?  Yes?  Cool.  No?  Just as cool.“  This, I have found, is WAY more effective than going into it with a ‘what can I get out of this’ or a fear/desperation mindset.  The other day I had a meeting at a studio and talked to the woman like she was one of my girlfriends.  We talked about books we love, dating, and getting our nails done.  We chatted as our authentic selves.  I can already tell it’s going to be a very successful relationship.

My piece of advice would be to stop being so formal.  Instead of handshakes, give hugs.  Relax and go out with the simple intention of meeting new people.  Oh, and don’t forget to have fun. 

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain

I admire individuals who set trends, come up with new ideas, and make a difference on this planet.  Those who have the courage who do things based on what they truly believe in.

Normal people go along with the herd and copy what other people are doing in hopes of being accepted.  It’s a disastrous recipe for living in fear and being miserable, because your life is based on what other people think.

To anyone reading this (especially if you are currently in high school) – If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to not care so much about fitting in.  If others makes fun of you for really liking something, embrace it.  If you really believe in a great idea but others tell you that it is stupid, don’t believe them.  I’m 12 years out of high school now, and I can safely say that the people who are doing the biggest things with their lives right now, were(and are) the nerds and weirdos.  It’s people who were always able to think for themselves.

Those people now are successful entrepreneurs who travel the world and DO amazing things.  I love the conversations I have with my weirdo friends.  Asking a simple question like, “What are you up to next week?” is never followed by, “Ohhh, you know, the same old….”  It’s things like, “I’m taking the month off and bringing the family to go explore all the spiritual places in India,” or “I’m launching a new iPhone App with a guy I met while climbing the Alps.”

My buddy Johnny Earle of Johnny Cupcakes always shares stories of how he was teased in high school.  In fact, he still has haters.  I can’t imagine what there is to hate about him, other than someone might be jealous that he came up with an original idea, and makes millions of dollars doing what he LOVES.  Some of the kids who teased him in high school actually stand in line to buy his products now.  Go figure.

Mediocrity attacks excellence. –Michael Beckwith.

I saw a group of  high school boys at Yogurtland last week.  They were playing some nerdy game that involved playing cards and little robotic Japanimation figurines.  They were SO into it!  Sitting at an adjacent table, eating my yogurt with strawberry, mochi, and shaved almond toppings (so good), I smiled and watched.  I smiled because 10-15 years from now, I know they are going to be up to BIG things in life, not to mention probably acquire some smokin’ hot wives.

Here is a cool little video made by my buddies (and fellow weirdos) at GameChangers 500.

Be weird.  Be an outsider.  Be a maverick.

Life is more interesting that way. 

One important characteristic I see in people who are successful is that they know how to see things as opportunity.  Unsuccessful people bitch and complain about how bad things happen to them.  They don’t see things as an opportunity, or have a willingness to do what it takes to create opportunity.

A couple stories demonstrating the benefits of seeing things as an opportunity:

Story #1:

My buddy broke up with his girlfriend recently.  They were engaged and he thought he was going to marry her.  Although he is HEARTBROKEN, he said, “When I feel deep pain I know I’m gonna evolve big time,” and also, “Never focus on the loss. Focus on the amazing gain that you couldn’t see before. Life is a never ending growth.”  What a way to stay positive and see a breakup as opportunity for growth!  And if you think about it, why would you want it any other way?  If you stay all sad/bitter/depressed and hang on to what shoulda woulda happened, you are keeping yourself in prison.  Learn and move forward.  You’ll get to where you need to be faster. 

Story #2: 

A few years ago I put an ad up on Craigslist looking to trade my services for something.  I got some responses, but a lot of people also wrote me complaining, saying that I was cheap, and to offer some real money.  In my opinion, the people who complained are struggling for work for a reason.  If you learn to see things as an opportunity, amazing things can (and WILL) happen.  When I first started photography, I responded to a similar ad.  A hairstylist was looking for a photographer to shoot a small event she was having.  She said there was no pay but that she would trade for a couple hair cuts.  I didn’t have much money at the time and I wanted more experience shooting events.  I thought – I get to practice shooting AND look pretty?  Sign me up!  The opportunity sounded great.  A friend of the hairstylist saw the photos from the party and got my contact info from her.  She reached out to me.  This friend happened to be a celebrity PR person.  Some people ask how I’ve gotten my celebrity clients.  This is one of them.

Getting paid to photograph Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minillo’s Halloween Party and having it featured in all the gossip magazines?  Sure, why not!  This was the start of me photographing for celebs.

No matter how unrewarding something seems, there is ALWAYS an opportunity.  See it as that, and you will open the doors, one after another, super duper fast!